Wake up to Anxiety

Woke up to pee (common activity for pregnant women) at 5:25 am. I try to keep my eyes closed so I can easily drift back to sleep but this was not happening this time. I climb back in bed and realize how hot it was and recognize that my spot was being taken by a small fur baby. I attempt to nudge the pup out of the way but she is dead to the world. Finally get situated with my new body pillow (thank you amazing Mother in-Law who buys an amazing pillow for her swelling daughter-in-law) I try to slip back into sleep.

This is the moment when everything is quiet and I feel alone. Everything is peaceful and its as if I took a 6 hour nap...I am awake. I start thinking, not thinking about fun things but about work and finances...I am awake. I wake up Chad, the most amazing husband ever, and I tell him my anxieties. He talks me down and tells me everything is alright, kind of a routine for us. Then Chad gets crabby because he is hot and a little fur baby has stolen his spot (not to mention his anxious pregnant wife just woke him up). He is only crabby for a moment though, he is ultimately kind and a great listener who makes me laugh, even at 5:30am. We move the pup so she has a more appropriate spot and open the door so our room isn't so warm and then we talk for about 30 minutes. We talk about what is worrying me but then we also talk about other stuff. Instead of trying to go back to sleep, we both get up at about 6:15 am and Chad goes for a run while I plop down on the couch and watch some show.

Its now 3 minutes to 8am and I am feeling sleepy but I have a big day because we are painting the nursery and bathroom today. I need to grocery shop, run to Petsmart, buy new undies (mine are becoming restricting), and purchase paint while Chad is at class. Yet, I sit on the couch feeling ever so sleepy.

Its mornings like these that make you feel hazy and emotional but they almost make you smile at the same time. Smile about the fact that you have a pup who steals your spot in bed and that you have a husband who happily wakes up and talks to you at 5:3oam, and that you have a baby on the way which makes you worry about finances. Its moments like these that are totally real and imperfect but that make you oddly pleased.

Oh and this is how pretty I look this morning. Just keeping it real :)

Apologies for any misspellings or incoherent sentences. I am tired.

Happy Friday!



Haley said...

Oh Hil, we are so much alike! There are many times where I try so hard to fall back to sleep and my mind starts making lists and trying to solve the world's problems. You are so lucky that Chad is willing to talk you through troubles that early in the morning! He's a great guy!

Chad de Lisle said...

You look beautiful!