Once Upon a Time

Once upon a time, there was a wife who sat at a table at her in-laws-house around Christmas time. Life was good, predictable, steady...comfortable. The family was laughing about stories of the boys being little and how the youngest boy used to slide down the stairs crying every morning. This wife already had a plan, they would get through school, wait to get into a Masters program and then go from there. The wife would get her English degree so she could teach and help support her man through school. It was going to be perfect.

As the wife laughed imagining these little boys doing silly things she heard a voice in her head with a sternness say "DO NOT WAIT". Slightly startled, she shook it off. Moments later, it hit her again and had such a warmth overcome her. She thought about having little boys of her own, with bright blue eyes and their Daddy's smile. Little chatter boxes that would tell stories and sing songs until she couldn't take it anymore.

She held onto this feeling and thought for several days. Thinking that she had just been caught up in the moment, she kept it a secret. Her husband didn't need to hear about it, it wasn't anything. As she lay in bed one night with her husbands arm around her, she told him about this "funny thing that happened the other day". The husband being a wonderful man, took this "funny thing" to heart and really considered its meaning. A year later, a little baby boy was born. He struggled to breath on his own and this family nearly lost him.

But he was saved.

One of my favorite pictures.

I lay in bed at 11:56 pm with all my babies asleep. Chad is exhausted from his new job and learning everything. Geddy is finally getting onto a slightly earlier schedule (but its still later than most) and Bobbie, she looks forward to bedtime all day. Yet I cannot sleep. As I **lightly** discussed last week, I was struggling with the whole Gregory thing (gregory=incision). Putting up such a fuss about the whole thing and feeling sorry for myself like a pansy. Then on Sunday, I had a "Come to Jesus" moment. I got a blessing from the Spouse and then I told him how upset and bothered I was. How hard this has been and how badly I just wanted it to go away.

It was not my proudest moment. I was being a real diva.

The Spouse being a level headed, wonderful, thoughtful, courageous man, helped me talk through the whole thing. After a long discussion about life, God, trials, forgiveness, and so on, something clicked.

Without going into great detail about the entire conversation, I do want to share how miraculous my moment was.

My moment when I put on my big girl trousers (with help from God and my adorable spouse) and changed my attitude.

The Lord blessed me. I have a new motto when I think about Gregory. I don't think of him as a pesky nuisance that hangs around like the kid in class that smells like bread. Gregory was the way my son was brought into the world.

Gregory = my Geddy.I had to have Gregory (again, that is my incision, keep up) in order to have my son.

Thats all there is to it.

Therefore, I have a new outlook on Gregory. I can't say that I necessarily LIKE him but I now see him as an acquaintance. Its like that person at work that you really don't like but you have to get along with because he is the bosses nephew. Or because he has all the good contacts/clients that pay your paycheck.

Gregory and I are now civil, I will work with him. I can be patient with him.

Because I have my Geddy Monster. My little boy that greets me with a smile in the mornings. The little dude who always lifts his hips and arches his back when I change his diaper so the diaper slips from beneath him. The little man who has the tiniest sneezes and fakest sounding coughs. The little lad that gets distracted when he nurses and smiles like crazy when he gets caught.

Geddy is so worth it.

Happy Wednesday! (I'm going to be so tired in the morning!)


1 comment:

Haley said...

What an awesome outlook! Thank heavens for Priesthood blessings. I have become so thankful for them in the last nine months. You are awesome Hil, and you teach me so much.