Bullet Point Word Vomit (My Next Rap Album Title)

I deleted this entire post except for 1 line. Orignally, it was a big "boo hoo" post about how frustrated I have been the last two weeks with Parenting but we don't need that crap today. Let me keep it plain and simple...I'll even use bullet points.

  • I have a very active toddler. So, active (active enough that people comment) that I sometimes want to pull my hair out or lock us inside all day but I am trying REALLY hard not to do that. HE needs to get out. I need to get out. It's good for the both of us and it's good for us to get through it together. It's really out of my comfort zone though.
  • Sometimes Geddy and I get in, what feels like, little fights and sometimes I feel like waking him up after I have put him to bed at night. just to say "Sorry for the crappy day, Little Dude". 
  • I think the heat makes me a worse parent. No lie. 
  • Sometimes, you put your toddler in the car and cry on the drive home. That's fine. Do what makes you feel better. I totally support it.
  • I love my son. He is my night and day and he is so forgiving. So so forgiving. I don't know that I deserve it. Plus, he is super handsome. And has the best personality. I think he is pretty dang cool. 
  • I feel guilty all the time. Mom guilt gives me the shivers. 
  • Everyone likes to give advice, when in reality, the most helpful thing to say is "you are doing a great job". My child is alive, healthy, and has eaten a fruit today. Go me.
  • Sometimes, I come across really motivational things in my head and have to quote myself. Like right now:
"Just because it's hard, doesn't mean you aren't good at it". (in regards to parenting because I really am just terrible at golf)
  • I can't believe I just quoted myself. 
  • The last two weeks have been incredibly hard for me. Today was hard for me. But Tomorrow? Tomorrow will be better. 

That, my friends, is called word vomit. 

Happy Monday!


P.S. I really believe that my body reacts differently to heat than the normal person. I have no personality, I can't make eye contact, or form lucid sentences. So, if you come across me this Summer, don't expect much. 


Michele Taylor said...

You just made my day! Your awesome Hil! Love your vulnerability!
It gets better! Xoxo

Chad de Lisle said...

don't bully yourself! You're amazing!

Haley said...

I've had the privilege of seeing you as a hands on mama and you are patient, fun and cheerful. And Geddy, well he's fabulous! Being active is a good thing (unless you're hoping to take a nap).

Jenny said...

Oh Hil, I love you. Seriously, I understand the really active kids and the heat and just wait until people start telling you that "don't take this the wrong way, but I'm seriously glad I don't have your kids." If you haven't seen this article, I think it's a read for your today. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steve-wiens/let-me-be-the-one-who-says-it-out-loud_b_3209305.html